Why reform judaism sucks: Feral Children edition

Finally, we have proof that women should never become rabbis!!!!!!

Anybody who has Jewish friends and loves feral children should feel deeply implicated in the story of Misha Defonseco (if that is her real name -- and we have reason to believe that it's not). Now, how did this Belgian woman who is not Kaspar Hauser, find herself in the position to promote herself as a Jewish-holocaust-victim-raised-by-wolves? The answer -- it seems -- is REFORM JUDAISM!!!!

"The genesis of Misha is almost as bizarre as the memoir itself. Defonseca, who has lived outside Boston since the mid-'80s, first told the story of Misha at Temple Beth Torah in Holliston in 1989 or 1990. 'When Holocaust Memorial Day came around, I asked her if she would speak to the congregation,' said Rabbi Joanne Yocheved Heiligman. The memorial service involved the lighting of six candles, Heiligman said. 'She asked to light one of them for animals; I thought that was out on a limb but said, 'OK.' And everybody was very moved.'"

As you may surmise, only a woman rabbi at a frickin' reform temple would allow some crackpot looney woman to impose her phony Jewish identity on an entire congregation. (In fact, who knows if Joanne's real middle name is even "Yocheved"? Doesn't that mean "sit down" in Jewish speak? I bet Tim Russert -- mister friend of the Jewish people -- knows.) I mean, only some crazy woman rabbi who thinks that Jewish tradition is flexible and subject to interpretation would say, "Okay, no problem lighting a candle for animals... after all, we say 'he/she' for G_d, and we omit specific reference to the Egyptians during Seder."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clearly, without women rabbis and reform judaism, Misha Defonseca would be be at home knitting doilies for her pet dogs to wear as yarmulkes. Now, look all you Jews, I'm only gonna say this once:

IT'S OK TO BE A SECULAR JEW!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND THAT JEWISH TRADITIONS CAN BE UPDATED FOR OUR CONTEMPORARY WORLD. OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN'T BE CALLED TRADITION -- AS TOPOL SO MELODICALLY POINTED OUT. NOW EITHER GET WITH THE PROGRAM OR SHUT DOWN YOUR SCHUL! ONCE YOU PRETEND THAT JEWS CAN DO ANYTHING AND STILL BE RELIGIOUS, FRICKIN' BELGIAN POSEURS CAN FIGURE, "WELL, WHY CAN'T I BE A JEWISH HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR, THEN."

By the way, I would also like to thank Mr. Eskin for linking to my favorite Website in an MSM outlet. Very much indebted to you, Mr. Eskin.