Jeroen Krabbe sighting?

Our villainometer is picking up some heavy typecast signals in Taos, New Mexico. ASM and I are going to head over there to check it out.
[Damn it, Monkey! Get your own damn Perrier bottle, I'm sick of tasting your frickin' Surrender Monkey drool in my bubbly!]
So, as I was saying, we may be on the road for about a week. When we get back online, expect a full accounting of our findings. Could it really be Jeroen Krabbe? Or is it just perennial-frickin'-good-guy Chris Noth trying to hide his tracks?

People who love me today

My mother
The Nesquik bunny
(only strawberry flavored, however)

Things I hate today... other than Chris Noth

David Stern
The very real threat posed by cotton swabs
David Stern
Antibacterial soap
David Stern
Perrier backwash (too much sharing going on between me and the Monkey)
David Stern


Get off his jock

Yo LIJ, Amare just called. He said you can get off his jock now.

Jocks I will be riding today

Amare Stoudamire's

People who love me today

My mother

Things I hate today... other than Chris Noth

Blake Lewis
Blake Gopnick
Adam Gopnick
The San Antonio Spurs
That means you, Bruce Bowen!
Not you, Tony. Le Général is always okay in my book. Niiiiice!
Anybody who likes 300
Anybody who hates 300 for reasons that are not the same as the reasons why I hate 300

Has this ever happened to you?

I've been known to sing a fair Don't Stop Believing myself, but my karaoke experience has never really gone to these extremes.

The Passion of Annie Camden

An interesting thesis is advanced in an article from the Sunday edition of the "Nation's Newspaper" (well, the Minutemen's nation, at least). I would like to take issue, however, with some of the postulates undergirding the overall argument of the article. For instance, I don't believe that Catherine Hicks is actually a Scottsdale native. Also, I would like to refute the notion that 7th Heaven, because it is a "family" program could not develop a cult following. I personally have experienced eerie moments of recognition with several fellow members of the tribe -- by the way, never use that term to refer to Jews in the North Central (AZ); it just causes confusion -- when we learned that we had been watching 7th Heaven religiously for years, all the time thinking "I've got to be the only young Jewish male obsessed with the Camdens." Well, no...

What is it about the Camdens that kept us watching like people at a superbowl party watching the Superbowl -- except more attentively? Was it the fact that they just seemed to thrive on a decision-making model that involves neither guilt nor rational thinking? Was it the sense of illicit discovery of how Christian families live (the famed "Christmas Invitation Complex")? Was it Mary, and her offscreen descent into a slattern and profligate life of infidelity and clandestine phone calls to her younger sibs? Was it Brian's whirlwind wedding to a beautiful Jewess, thus providing Richard Lewis another unexpected paycheck in his guest appearance as Brian's rabbinical father-in-law -- the greatest coup for middlebrow Jewish talent since Judd Hirsch saved the world in ID-4? Was it the bizarre and shameles Oreo tie-in of the entire last season on the WB?

Whatever it was, the Camden family kept us hooked, and Annie Camden is right in scolding America for not believing enough in family programming. What other show on television can pass off an entire brood's neurotic fear of sex and revolving door of vagrant male houseguests as a Norman Rockwell-style vignette of Protestant American life? In fact, I believe that we watched because we understood the show's secret agenda. In the end, it did much more to undermine than to uphold the sense of entitlement and normality possessed by its middle American, family values target audience. That is why, in the telling episode when Eric becomes obsessed with talking to Ruthie about her first menstruation, rather than being the shark-jumping, "Ruthie won't be an adorable child sage forever?!?" episode of the series, it was in fact the apotheosis of the show's primary mission of revealing religious America's mania to control every aspect of child sexuality. If only the CW was renewed for another season, we might have seen Eric battle Ruthie's school over its new HPV vaccination program. Alas, it was not to be...

In any case, I will keep seeking out and updating you, dear reader, on other 7th Heaven post-mortems. My gratitude goes out to all those who might draw my attention to similar articles.


Unsmelly poo

Mary asks about her AB's unsmelly poo. I don't know how to answer you, Mary. Tell me I have a PhD in Crapology, and I'll bye you a cigar (ha ha... Roar!). All I can think of is that next time LIJ gives me a chocolate swirlie, I sure hope it's your baby's poo!

People who love me today

My mother

Things I hate today... other than Chris Noth

Fall Out Boy (Everytime ASM plays that song while we're blogging I want to give him a monkey-chocolate swirlie!)
Anybody who gives Fall Out Boy street cred by producing their tracks
Arcade Fire (Thank you Canada, but we'll take Bryan Adams.)
Anybody who links to Youtube videos of Arcade Fire
Arcade Fire is soooo ugly. Ugly people should not be making music. And they seem so sad too. Why are they soooo sad?
Vandertramp verbs
Anybody who insists that passer should be including as a middle intitial in the Vandertramp verbs
Hairspray the movie based on the musical
Hairspray the musical
Hairspray the movie
Any movie that is based on the Broadway musical version of a movie
Ragnarok: The Twilight of the Gods
Anybody who doesn't worry about Ragnarok

Bite me, Chris Noth!

Bonjour, racaille!

I would have reposted sooner, but I was procrastinating.


Notre Raison d'Etre (Part II)

Anyone who enjoys procrastination should also enjoy reading this blog.

Notre Raison d'Etre

To our readers:
This post is not about Jeroen Krabbe.

By way of Introduction

Gilbert Arenas: This blog was created to express my love of your game. By the way, don't tell Jeroen Krabbe.
Other readers: What can I say except that I really like Jeroen Krabbe and I hate Chris Noth?