Postcard from Vienna

Gruss Gott! Hey, LIJ, di dya miss me?
You'll never believe whats going on here! You see, Heidi and I -- yuups, she and Dagmar had a bit of a tiff recently -- decided to go to Vienna for the summer, you know, just get away from the countryside. She has also been looking for maybe some secretarial work or maybe a modeling gig. I don't knwo. I thiink she can do something. I have utmost confidence in her abilities.

Anyway, It's just amazing to be here. I might have a job a s a nIght porter. I just had an interveiew where we're staying at the Konig von Ungarn. It's a really nice historic hotel -- lots of character... we're crashing there for a while -- but that's not what you'll really go crazy about. Let me tell you, I bumped into Pete Doherty in the men's room of the Arena the other night -- about a week ago -- there waws this raucous group playing that calls themselves the Schwein Toten... I guess it's kind of like Toten Hosen, but in reverse and with pigs. My German's improved a lot, you know, with Heidi and all -- she just grows more beautiful every day. Something about her is very earthy and fertile, almost nurturing, but more sensual than like -- you know -- my mother. Anyway, the big news is that Pete and I were, like, washing our hands side-by-side and talking about how so few people really wash there hands after peeing.

Anyway, we found out that, other than impeccable hygiene, we've got a lot in common. So we hung through the rest of the concert, and I introduced him to Heidi, and he introduced me to Irina -- no, they're not back together, but just kind of comfortable -- you know how it is. Anyway, after we got out at I don't know, like 3:00 AM. Pete was like, "Y'knowwot mates, I coul' bloody well do me with some Sachertorte, right abouts now!" And, I'm like, "Funk soul brother, you said it!" Wow, that guy can really put away the Sachertorte... He is like a total Sachertorte fiend!!!!

Anyway, so we've been totally like crashing at his suite at the Konig von Ungarn. I'ts been really amazing... Or, as they say, here "Wunderbarr!" Anyway, Pete's really cool, like cooler than even in his songs -- I wish you could meet him.

Even when he's like really busy lining up gigs and such, he always stops his day for like he says "a spot of Sachertorte" in the afternoon, and invites me and Heidi. You won't recognize me for all the wate I've gained!!!!

Oh, that reminds me, it's not like Heidi and I are totally leeching, or anything. I mentioned the job prospect. Well, you know, Heidi really can sing, and, as you know, I've always been a bit of an organist myself. So we've made some good money on the streets recently, with the few polkas I know -- until the guys come around with the German shepherds to disperse us.

And I don't want to brag or anything. But the Euro is totally stronger than the dollar right now.

Anyway, I'll be checking in from time to time with news about how things are going with Pete and all them. If you still have Dagmar's number, you really should call here. I think that might change things. I know there's nothing you have to say -- like we al know it's over between you 2, but I think she needs someone familiar to talk with about her issues.

Yeah, so sorry for leaving you in the lurch for so long. I've seen you'be really been posting quite a bit without me. (I hope you didn't vomit the other night when you were drinking all that raki ;))

Okay, gotta go... Tchuss!

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